27 December 2016

When She Said NO



When you propose someone, it tough to handle “no”and its more awkward to face that person again. May be that’s why people choose days like college farewell to propose. People also choose farewell day because that day is already a special day and a “yes” makes it memorable. Let’s move to our story.

Two days before farewell
Neha entered library.
Priya : Hi Neha. Teri aakhein puri lal lagi padi hai, lagta hai tu Yash ke liye itni excited hai ki tu soyi nai
Neha: Nai yaar, aisa kuch nai hai
Priya: Come on, sabko pata hai, tum dono pura din ek dusre se baatien karte rehte ho and Yash tujhe officially propose karne wala hai on farewell day
Neha: Yeh official propose kya hota hai ? kuch bhi. Actually, yeh Tarun ka kamal hai. Uss din, maine uss se kaha ki mujhse ko koi first chapter ke points ke raat ko 3 baje bhi puchega toh main bata dugi, itna achese yaad hai mujhe. And guess what, he actually called me at 3 am aur bola first chapter ki points bata. Uske baad fir neend nai aayi
Priya: LOL, waise yeh Tarun ko tere aur Yash ke relationship se problem nai hai ? After all both of you are long time close friends.
Neha:  Usse problem toh nai hai, but he personally doesn’t like Yash because of his past relations. But hota hai yeh sab. He(Tarun) cares for me. But I know Yash better and I know Yash acha insaan hai.



Farewell Day
I don’t understand why people choose farewell spot so far from college. I have to attend my cousin’s wedding in Thane and this farewell party is in Vashi.  So I have to unfortunately leave the party in the half way. I was more disappointed that I will miss the Yash-Neha thing. And just then, Neha was called on stage by the host. We all know it must be Yash who must have asked for this announcement. Neha was on stage. We all were wrong, it was Tarun who called for this announcement. Tarun came up on stage, went on his knees and proposed Neha. Neha with anger in her eyes, left the stage without saying anything. All excitement went off air and so I left for station. When I reached the station, Tarun was already there. He smiled at me. He was with me throughout the journey. We started talking about casual topics (topics except about what happened at the party). Although, Tarun and me were in same class, it was first time, we were talking so well. It was beginning of our friendship.

Exam Days
During exams days,  I came to know that Yash didn’t proposed Neha on that day. She was not anymore in contact with most of the college friends, not even with Yash and Tarun. She was only in contact with 2-3 female friends.

3 years after farewell (Saturday)
Today, Tarun has become one for my close friends. Every Saturday night, we meet out at some ice-cream parlour.

Shopkeeper: Namaste sir, would you like to try our new special gulkand flavour falooda
Me(looking at Tarun): Chal try karte hai
Tarun(to shopkeeper): Kitne ka hai ?
Shopkeeper: Rs 120 per cup
Tarun: Nai wahi regular falooda do, woh hamara favourite hai
Me: Arey, kabhi kabhi chalta hai
Tarun: Tu shant reh. Kisi achi occasion pe khayege
We picked up our tray and were walking towards table. A guy came near me.
Vikas: Hi, aap Sanjay ke cousin ho na
Me:Ya, Vikas na
Vikas: Haan…….So sab kaisa chal raha hai
Me: Mast aap batao
Vikas: Haan, sab acha chal raha hai. Picnic pe chaloge na hamare saath
Me: Haan mostly
Vikas: Toh whatsapp pe group mein add kar lu
We exchanged number and he left.

Tarun was silent and was in deep thinking
Me: Tere ghar ka kya hua, koi ghar rent pe mila
Tarun: woh chhod. Yeh bata tu isse kaise janta hai ?
Me: Yeh Vikas hai, mere cousin ke saath office mein kaam karta hai
Tarun: Ek kaam karega, but ek request hai, abi iske related kuch sawal mat puchna
Me(confused): haan bol
Tarun: Yeh jo Vikas hai na, mujhe uska nature bata kaisa hai, uske mom dad kaise hai ? kal tak kar payega ?
Me: kyun ?
Tarun: Yaar kaha na sawal mat puch aur kar payega toh bata ?
Me: ok, done. I will try my best
There was sudden change in his behaviour that day. 

I went back home called my cousin and collected all required information about Vikas and his family. Everything was positive about Vikas. That night, I was confused about what exactly is going through Tarun’s mind. I decided to have some chat with Vikas and try to find link between Vikas and Tarun. But the moment checked his profile pic on whatsapp, I was in shock.  Vikas was Neha's Husband. I interpreted things my way and was disappointed with Tarun.

Next day (Sunday)
We met. I told him everything about Vikas and his parents just to fulfil my commitment.
Me: Ab kuch kahu aur kuch puchu
Tarun: Baad mein, Pehle kuch le lete hai
We went to the counter.
Shopkeeper: Namaste Sir, aaj bhi wohi aapka favourite regular falooda ?
Tarun: Haan (after 2 sec pause) Wait, woh kal ek naya flavour bataya na, woh dijiye

We got back our tables.
Tarun: Ab bol
Me: Yaar, Neha is married now. Ab uska picha chod de. Kyun tu ab bhi uske piche padha hai, let her be happy in her life
Tarun: Tu galat samaj raha hai, bhai. Maine tere se Neha ke liye kuch nai pucha. Na address manga aur na phone number. Sirf uske husband aur family ka nature pucha
Me: Haan toh
Tarun: Main usse aaj bhi apni best friend manta hu. Aaj hum dono baat nai karte but iska matlab yeh nai ki I don’t care for her. Main sirf itna janna chahta tha ki woh khush hai na and agar uske in-laws ache hai toh matlab woh khush hai.
Me: Aur woh college ke time ka propose, Woh sab kya tha ?
Tarun: Yaar uske dimaag mein Yash ka bukhar tha. And Yash sahi ladka nai tha. Maine sunn liya tha ki Yash uske saath relationship sirf naam ke liye bana raha hai. Aur Neha ko jab bhi main Yash ke liye kuch kehta tha toh usko lagta tha I am being jealous. And I knew agar main propose karunga toh fir Yash nahi karega. Because Yash waise bhi serious nai hai aur kuch problem hua toh bhaag jayega.
Me: Aur agar uss din Neha haan kehti fir ?
Tarun (smiled): Jo possible nai, uski baat nai karte hai. Ab kuch aur baat kare ? jaise rent pe ghar ke bare mein ? ab tak nai mila mujhe. Main kahi shift nai hua toh main apna naya ghar renovate kaise karwauga
Me: Ab yaar koi mil nai raha jo apna ghar sirf do mahine ke liye rent pe de
We discussed few things and after sometime, I left for home.

That same Sunday night
Vikas forwarded a message in the whatapp group about a house available for rent.
Someone: Arey tune real estate commission ka bhi business shuru kiya hai
Vikas: Nai dost, yeh jiska ghar hai woh meri wife ke pechan ki hai. Unko paiso ki need hai isiliye ghar rent pe de rahe hai. Meri wife ne kaha sab groups mein forward karne ke liye.
My mind was thinking that God is such a big gamer, on one side Tarun is looking for home and on another side, Neha searching tenant for her friend. What a big co-incidence. I forwarded same message to Tarun but never told him about the source of the message.

After few days
Tarun shifted to that place.
Tarun : Tu toh bol raha tha lady ko paiso ki zarurat hai
Me: Haan
Tarun: Usne kaha usko koi zarurat nai hai, woh toh USA ja rahi hai kuch months ke liye, isiliye rent pe de rahi hai
Me: Pata nai, mujhe jo kaha gaya woh bataya
It means Neha knew that Tarun is looking for house on rent.


Deep inside my heart, I understood one thing: Silence can never define friendship, only silent care can.

13 July 2016

Muskaan

पाँच तत्व की इस दुनिया में
महत्व सिर्फ उसकी हँसी का था

इत्र लगाने से तो सिर्फ कपडे महकते थे
मेरा 'मोहित' होना तो उसकी खुशी से था

वो खुश हो तो दिन मेरा अच्छा बन जाता था
नाराज़ हो तो मेरे चेहरे का भी रंग उत्तर जाता था



पर आज उसकी वो हँसी कही गुम थी
आज मेरी वजह से उसकी आँखें नम थी
नाराज़गी नहीं, शायद मेरी साँसे कम थी

शोर करती हस्पताल की उस मशीन को क्या पता
दिल की धड़कन तो उसकी मुस्कराहट से बढ़ती है

इंजेक्शन में दवा बरते उस डॉक्टर को क्या पता
जीने की दुआ तो उसकी मुस्कान से मिलती है

दौडते हुए आसुओ को समजा दो
जिंदगी तो उनकी खुशी से चलती है

आँखों को बंद करते उस हाथ रोक लो
उसकी मुस्कान को आखरी बार देखना बाकी है

अब लगता है भगवन के पास जाने का समय गया है
दुनिया को अलविदा कहना का समय गया है
खुदा से उसकी मुस्कान वापस मागने का समय गया है

चलता हूं

अलविदा

21 May 2016

Aww wali Girls

Aww is sweet expression.
Awww is sweeter expression.
Awwww is sweetest expression.
Awwwww (and more) is diabetic expression.


It's not like that every girl using word aww is aww wali girl. Aww wali girls are special type of girl. They just use it anywhere and everywhere.

Online chats
Meri lottery lagi hai
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : tujhe kuch lag gaya kya, jo aww kar rahi hai

Mera accident ho gaya
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : Kab, kyun, kaha bhi puch

Mera haath fracture ho gaya
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : ab bhi aww

I am recovering now
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : shayad keyboard hi kharab hoga

I am fine, how are you
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : achese padh toh leti

Apart from being like this online or apart from this using aww, they have many more right-eyebrow-raising-qualities.

Face-to-Face
*After a joke*
Aww wali girls : LOL
My mind : LOL ? Hass bhi sakti thi, robot hai kya ?

Mera accident ho gaya tha
Aww wali girls : O-M-G
My mind : muh se baat kar rahi hai pura toh bol hi sakti thi

There are many other ways to be cool rather than using OMG in face to face conversation. Anything in limit is good. A conversation full of aww is awful conversation.


PS : This post is not meant to offend anyone. Many of my friends and cousins use aww(but in limit), this one is not related to any of them. Just a post to make people smile. Also, If girls have aww-wali-girls, boys have bad-joke-wale-boys (includes me).

18 December 2014

The Careless He

(This time from Chitra’s Point of view)

October 3, 2014
He was reading a newspaper, where he came across one news : Deepika Padkone visited Mumbai mall for HNY promotions. 
He said “I wish I was there”
I replied “ok”
He said “Sirf ok ? It seems someone is jealous”
I said “Wish I could have met Amitabh Sir, when he was near our office zone for some inauguration. Then you would have been a real jealous”
As usual, he replied with a smile.


*****
October 4, 2014
Today, his parents went Jabalpur for attending a marriage. He is too lazy to cook or buy something healthy. He had maggi at lunch. I was angry but didn’t react.
*****
October 5, 2014
He opened his lunch box it was maggi again

Me(angrily) : Wow Maggi again, breakfast mein bhi yahi banaya hoga na?
He : Yes
Me: Are you serious ?
He was silent. His silence gave the answer
*****
October 6, 2014
Today, I was sure he must be bored of maggi. Today it must be sandwich in lunch. So I decided I will exchange my lunch with him. I asked him on sms : “whats in lunch today ?”. It was maggi again and I was very much disappointed. I decided I will not exchange lunch. 
*****
October 7, 2014
Today, I went to his desk. He was not there; he must be with boss for some meeting. Out of curiosity, I opened his bag and looked into his tiffin. I was relieved it was not maggi today. Just when I kept the tiffin back, I saw a new paper cutting. I checked it. It was an advertisement. “Meet the Big B” contest to meet Amitabh Bachchan on his birthday. The person who get lucky coupon in the maggi pack, will get chance to meet Big B.
 Oh he did all this just for me; so that I can meet Big B. I was shocked but happy.  Again, he made my day. 


*****
October 8, 2014
I received a call
Me : Hello
Girl on call : Good afternoon Ma’m, This is Taruna from Axis Bank, I would like to share information about our new zero-balance- account facility. Can I have your 2 mins ?
Me : Deepika Padukone is your brand ambassador, right ?
Girl on call : Yes
Me : Is there any scheme like offer to meet Deepika, if we open an account ?
She disconnected the phone

17 October 2014

An Interview with Self

Q: Why this post as an interview?
A: Just a way of presentation. I made this post to answer the questions most of the people ask me.

Q: Ok then, Your blog is Mr Weirdo, why such name?
A: People say I am different from many others in everything I do. Different is the word but it doesn’t appear to be appealing. So I named it Mr Weirdo.

Q: But there was another option : your Hpage blog name – Mohit’s Shorteries
A: Hpage is past. It was in 2009. It created some personal problem with my friend. So deleted the blog and don’t want to use anything connected to that. And that name can be used for short stories completed in one or two paragraphs. Also, now I write big stories. Infact, some of them are so big that I divide them into parts and post it. Like the story : The Chitra of My Life

Q: Oh yes Chitra, who is Chitra?
A: She is just an imagination

Q: But then why only Chitra, there are many names?
A: The name is quite rare. And it’s also name of childhood friend. She was my friend in nursery school days . I last met her when I was in my 2nd grade and haven’t meet or seen her ever after that but my uncle still teases me on that name. Don’t know why. So I felt using it.

Q: You write most your stories in busy days like during audit days or exam days, why?
A: I don’t write stories in these busy days. I just post them in these busy days. It’s kind of a break for me

Q: You call yourself an innovative, why ?
A: First time I got this tag was in some competition. Then my maths teachers gave me this tag. Infact, one of them, Prof Oza, Somaiya college said there are 3 method to solve every mathematical problem: 1) the book method 2) the teachers’ method 3) your method, you are truely innovative, Mohit. Also in one of the training sessions, I received this tag of “Innovative”

Q: Coming to maths, your blog Mathemagician, why you stopped it ?
A: My idea for the blog was to make everything available from tricks to formulas at one place. I shared this idea with someone and he created the same blog with same title in a week’s time. I was disappointed and stopped blogging there.

Q: But now that page is already deleted. Will you continue your page again?
A: Haven’t made a thought



(I will keep updating this post)

Love Story of a Ghost

Arvind(Age 22) just received a call that his brother has met with an accident. He took the car keys and left from home. He was driving car at a high speed. He, then, saw a small kid crossing the road. He was about to hit the kid but a lady jumped and saved him. This made Arvind go completely blank and he, too, met with an accident and died on the spot. Soon, he reached the heaven’s gate.

“Hello Arvind” said an old man with a white beard and white clothes
Arvind : Hello Sir
Old man : I am your guide for next few days till you get rebirth. With me, you will learn the lessons for your upcoming life. And you will also learn the results of mistake you made in your past life. Let me check in which form you will get your rebirth as.
He checked his white color book
Old man : Aah ! the human life again. You are the second person in my career who is getting rebirth as human again. First was Mitesh, seven years ago. He was also in his twenties, when he came here.
Arvind: Thank you God, I am human again. But sir, is it because we lived a smaller life, we are getting rebirth as human ?
Old man : No. Age is not a criteria. Its about how good you have been in your past life.
Arvind : Can you tell me something about Mitesh, if its allowed to share
Old man : sure, I can tell you about him
******
Mitesh was very innocent and filled with love. He was deeply in love with Vilsha. But after the breakup, he stopped living his life, the way he used to live. May be that was the reason God called him up. During his learning days, here in heaven, he use to visit earth as ghost. He visited different places but his two most comman were his home and Vilsha’s home. A day before rebirth, everyone is given 18 hrs to meet their loved ones in their dreams. Mitesh also got this opportunity. When Mitesh reached earth, it was 3 pm. His parents were at office, which means he cant meet them as they are awake. He was searching for others who might be sleeping. He found that Vilsha is taking her afternoon nap. He reached her dream. In that dream, Vilsha was sitting in the garden alone.

Mitesh(from behind) : its said that even a fake relationship for 8 months create true love between the two. Was our relation worse than the fake.
Vilsha(turned back) : Oh Mitesh, I am sorry but I did what I felt right. At that time, I found him better than you.
Mitesh : Vilsha, we were together for 3 yrs and your friendship with him was not even 3 months old. My poems for you, my prayers for you and everything wasn’t worth.
Vilsha: I know but I was confused.
Mitesh : You call it a confusion. It turned my life completely upside down.
Vilsha started crying. Mitesh left from there, without say a word.
Later in night, he went to dreams of his parents, relatives and friends. He still had time. At some moment, he decided to meet Vilsha again but I stopped and came back.
Before getting rebirth, he was asked to make wishes – one good and one bad. These wishes are allowed so that no one takes unfulfilled love or hate memories of past life in their next life.
As a good wish, he asked for happiness of his parents and loved ones.
When it came to bad wish, everyone in heaven thought he will ask for some big punishment for Vilsha. Infact many thought he will ask for death of Vilsha.
But he. He didn’t asked for anything. And he was sent back to earth as human
*****
Arvind : Wasn’t he given any other option, as he didn’t ask for anyone’s bad.
Old man : no
Arvind : Man ! He almost saved Vilsha’s life and he didn’t got anything.
Old man smiled.
Arvind : What ? did I said anything wrong ?
Old man : The kid who was saved from getting hit by your car, was seven year old Mitesh. The lady who saved the kid was Vilsha.
Arvind was almost shocked.
Old man: I will start guiding you for your new life in sometime, till time you can take some rest.
*****


28 September 2014

His Mistakes Her Corrections

First crush of my life when I was 11 yr old was a girl with a name starting with ‘N’. Some misunderstanding and we stopped talking to each other and also it landed me in a trouble. Since then every year, there is one girl with name N….. , I enter in some trouble with her without any fault from my side. Now I have adapted the ‘technique’ called “Prevention is better than cure”. Its not that I don’t talk to N named girls. Infact, I have few good female friends with N. But-kintu-parantu I stay cautioned till I entered in a problem with one, after that I feel free to talk to other N named girls with little less cautious.
Namrita. One of the past close friends of Chitra. I always tried to be safe with her. Every sms, whats app message, song or video was considered 7-8 times before sending it to her. Deep inside I always feel that she doesn’t like me. Even she asked Chitra that to reconsider her love for me. Thank God, Chitra is always always always positive about me.

Recently Namrita underwent a breakup. And in next few days it was her birthday. Chitra knew birthday is the best time to save her from all those breakup-bad-mood. She suggested everyone to keep Namrita's pic in their dp and Happy Birthday in their status on WhatsApp.
Chitra : Hey even you are supposed follow the rule
Me : Arey I have Deepika Padukone’s Pic in my Dp and Status ‘I Love You’ and I wont change until and unless Deepu read it.
Chitra : Trying to get me jealous. I wont. I know that status for me. Otherwise you had wrote “I Love You, Deepika”
I just smiled, as always.

Day before the birthday
It was 11 30 pm and I realised that my internet pack will expire in 1 hr and I have forgot to recharge it. Now the plan was to change Dp and status at 11 58 pm. At 11 58 pm, I changed the Dp of Whats app with her pic. And due to slow internet it took me 2 mins to update the Dp and my net pack expired. I was ok. I was happy that atleast I updated the Dp, I will update the status in morning. I switched off the cell and slept.
While I was sleeping happily, Evils and Whats app were repeating a problem for me. Last time unchanged status got me into problem with Chitra. This time it was Namrita. Upon that Namrita unfortunately starts with N. Upon that this year, I was yet to have problem with N named girl.
So now, my dp has a pic of Namrita and Status is “I love you” which was meant to be for Deepika Padukone(Actually Chitra). Unfortunately those days, What App never displayed the time of status update.
Her Birthday (my death day??)
Its was breakfast birthday party at 10 am. I reached near the Dosa center. I thought of calling Chitra and it was then I realised that I haven’t yet switched on my cell. I switched on my cell. Message popped up – 18 missed calls from Chitra. I called Chitra.
Chitra: Hello
Me : Hi good morning
Chitra: haan bada good morning. Kyun khud ko problem mein fasate ho
Me: Kiya kya maine
Chitra : Kya Kiya ? pehle cake leke aao. Aur apna whats app status and dp check karo. Come directly to Dosa center. I will meet you there.
Call disconnected.
I quickly checked my phone. Realised the messed. I reached the cake shop. I selected the cake. All this while, I was tensed. They will kill me. And suddenly shopkeeper asked
Shopkeeper : Kaunse colour ka knife du
Me(in my mind) : Knife ? To kill myself ?
Me : Kum daar wala
Shopkeeper : Kya ?
Me: Koi bhi do yaar
He gave red color knife. Yet another signal that I am in deep trouble.

I reached Dosa Center. Chitra wasn’t there yet. I got confused.
Me: Where is Chitra ?
Namrita: (with a smile) I am also waiting for her. We both will beat her together.
Me: Why ?
Namrita: She herself confessed on FB, what she did with your whats app.
I checked FB. Chitra had her FB status
“Hey Guys, Check Mohit’s whats app Dp and Status; Sorry Namu but I did this Prank :P”
Chitra arrived. Namrita and Chitra hugged each other. We all had fun.

After the party, me and Chitra had a short conversation
Me:Thanks

Chitra. Thanks. Thanks returned. Even I am there for you

27 December 2016

When She Said NO



When you propose someone, it tough to handle “no”and its more awkward to face that person again. May be that’s why people choose days like college farewell to propose. People also choose farewell day because that day is already a special day and a “yes” makes it memorable. Let’s move to our story.

Two days before farewell
Neha entered library.
Priya : Hi Neha. Teri aakhein puri lal lagi padi hai, lagta hai tu Yash ke liye itni excited hai ki tu soyi nai
Neha: Nai yaar, aisa kuch nai hai
Priya: Come on, sabko pata hai, tum dono pura din ek dusre se baatien karte rehte ho and Yash tujhe officially propose karne wala hai on farewell day
Neha: Yeh official propose kya hota hai ? kuch bhi. Actually, yeh Tarun ka kamal hai. Uss din, maine uss se kaha ki mujhse ko koi first chapter ke points ke raat ko 3 baje bhi puchega toh main bata dugi, itna achese yaad hai mujhe. And guess what, he actually called me at 3 am aur bola first chapter ki points bata. Uske baad fir neend nai aayi
Priya: LOL, waise yeh Tarun ko tere aur Yash ke relationship se problem nai hai ? After all both of you are long time close friends.
Neha:  Usse problem toh nai hai, but he personally doesn’t like Yash because of his past relations. But hota hai yeh sab. He(Tarun) cares for me. But I know Yash better and I know Yash acha insaan hai.



Farewell Day
I don’t understand why people choose farewell spot so far from college. I have to attend my cousin’s wedding in Thane and this farewell party is in Vashi.  So I have to unfortunately leave the party in the half way. I was more disappointed that I will miss the Yash-Neha thing. And just then, Neha was called on stage by the host. We all know it must be Yash who must have asked for this announcement. Neha was on stage. We all were wrong, it was Tarun who called for this announcement. Tarun came up on stage, went on his knees and proposed Neha. Neha with anger in her eyes, left the stage without saying anything. All excitement went off air and so I left for station. When I reached the station, Tarun was already there. He smiled at me. He was with me throughout the journey. We started talking about casual topics (topics except about what happened at the party). Although, Tarun and me were in same class, it was first time, we were talking so well. It was beginning of our friendship.

Exam Days
During exams days,  I came to know that Yash didn’t proposed Neha on that day. She was not anymore in contact with most of the college friends, not even with Yash and Tarun. She was only in contact with 2-3 female friends.

3 years after farewell (Saturday)
Today, Tarun has become one for my close friends. Every Saturday night, we meet out at some ice-cream parlour.

Shopkeeper: Namaste sir, would you like to try our new special gulkand flavour falooda
Me(looking at Tarun): Chal try karte hai
Tarun(to shopkeeper): Kitne ka hai ?
Shopkeeper: Rs 120 per cup
Tarun: Nai wahi regular falooda do, woh hamara favourite hai
Me: Arey, kabhi kabhi chalta hai
Tarun: Tu shant reh. Kisi achi occasion pe khayege
We picked up our tray and were walking towards table. A guy came near me.
Vikas: Hi, aap Sanjay ke cousin ho na
Me:Ya, Vikas na
Vikas: Haan…….So sab kaisa chal raha hai
Me: Mast aap batao
Vikas: Haan, sab acha chal raha hai. Picnic pe chaloge na hamare saath
Me: Haan mostly
Vikas: Toh whatsapp pe group mein add kar lu
We exchanged number and he left.

Tarun was silent and was in deep thinking
Me: Tere ghar ka kya hua, koi ghar rent pe mila
Tarun: woh chhod. Yeh bata tu isse kaise janta hai ?
Me: Yeh Vikas hai, mere cousin ke saath office mein kaam karta hai
Tarun: Ek kaam karega, but ek request hai, abi iske related kuch sawal mat puchna
Me(confused): haan bol
Tarun: Yeh jo Vikas hai na, mujhe uska nature bata kaisa hai, uske mom dad kaise hai ? kal tak kar payega ?
Me: kyun ?
Tarun: Yaar kaha na sawal mat puch aur kar payega toh bata ?
Me: ok, done. I will try my best
There was sudden change in his behaviour that day. 

I went back home called my cousin and collected all required information about Vikas and his family. Everything was positive about Vikas. That night, I was confused about what exactly is going through Tarun’s mind. I decided to have some chat with Vikas and try to find link between Vikas and Tarun. But the moment checked his profile pic on whatsapp, I was in shock.  Vikas was Neha's Husband. I interpreted things my way and was disappointed with Tarun.

Next day (Sunday)
We met. I told him everything about Vikas and his parents just to fulfil my commitment.
Me: Ab kuch kahu aur kuch puchu
Tarun: Baad mein, Pehle kuch le lete hai
We went to the counter.
Shopkeeper: Namaste Sir, aaj bhi wohi aapka favourite regular falooda ?
Tarun: Haan (after 2 sec pause) Wait, woh kal ek naya flavour bataya na, woh dijiye

We got back our tables.
Tarun: Ab bol
Me: Yaar, Neha is married now. Ab uska picha chod de. Kyun tu ab bhi uske piche padha hai, let her be happy in her life
Tarun: Tu galat samaj raha hai, bhai. Maine tere se Neha ke liye kuch nai pucha. Na address manga aur na phone number. Sirf uske husband aur family ka nature pucha
Me: Haan toh
Tarun: Main usse aaj bhi apni best friend manta hu. Aaj hum dono baat nai karte but iska matlab yeh nai ki I don’t care for her. Main sirf itna janna chahta tha ki woh khush hai na and agar uske in-laws ache hai toh matlab woh khush hai.
Me: Aur woh college ke time ka propose, Woh sab kya tha ?
Tarun: Yaar uske dimaag mein Yash ka bukhar tha. And Yash sahi ladka nai tha. Maine sunn liya tha ki Yash uske saath relationship sirf naam ke liye bana raha hai. Aur Neha ko jab bhi main Yash ke liye kuch kehta tha toh usko lagta tha I am being jealous. And I knew agar main propose karunga toh fir Yash nahi karega. Because Yash waise bhi serious nai hai aur kuch problem hua toh bhaag jayega.
Me: Aur agar uss din Neha haan kehti fir ?
Tarun (smiled): Jo possible nai, uski baat nai karte hai. Ab kuch aur baat kare ? jaise rent pe ghar ke bare mein ? ab tak nai mila mujhe. Main kahi shift nai hua toh main apna naya ghar renovate kaise karwauga
Me: Ab yaar koi mil nai raha jo apna ghar sirf do mahine ke liye rent pe de
We discussed few things and after sometime, I left for home.

That same Sunday night
Vikas forwarded a message in the whatapp group about a house available for rent.
Someone: Arey tune real estate commission ka bhi business shuru kiya hai
Vikas: Nai dost, yeh jiska ghar hai woh meri wife ke pechan ki hai. Unko paiso ki need hai isiliye ghar rent pe de rahe hai. Meri wife ne kaha sab groups mein forward karne ke liye.
My mind was thinking that God is such a big gamer, on one side Tarun is looking for home and on another side, Neha searching tenant for her friend. What a big co-incidence. I forwarded same message to Tarun but never told him about the source of the message.

After few days
Tarun shifted to that place.
Tarun : Tu toh bol raha tha lady ko paiso ki zarurat hai
Me: Haan
Tarun: Usne kaha usko koi zarurat nai hai, woh toh USA ja rahi hai kuch months ke liye, isiliye rent pe de rahi hai
Me: Pata nai, mujhe jo kaha gaya woh bataya
It means Neha knew that Tarun is looking for house on rent.


Deep inside my heart, I understood one thing: Silence can never define friendship, only silent care can.

13 July 2016

Muskaan

पाँच तत्व की इस दुनिया में
महत्व सिर्फ उसकी हँसी का था

इत्र लगाने से तो सिर्फ कपडे महकते थे
मेरा 'मोहित' होना तो उसकी खुशी से था

वो खुश हो तो दिन मेरा अच्छा बन जाता था
नाराज़ हो तो मेरे चेहरे का भी रंग उत्तर जाता था



पर आज उसकी वो हँसी कही गुम थी
आज मेरी वजह से उसकी आँखें नम थी
नाराज़गी नहीं, शायद मेरी साँसे कम थी

शोर करती हस्पताल की उस मशीन को क्या पता
दिल की धड़कन तो उसकी मुस्कराहट से बढ़ती है

इंजेक्शन में दवा बरते उस डॉक्टर को क्या पता
जीने की दुआ तो उसकी मुस्कान से मिलती है

दौडते हुए आसुओ को समजा दो
जिंदगी तो उनकी खुशी से चलती है

आँखों को बंद करते उस हाथ रोक लो
उसकी मुस्कान को आखरी बार देखना बाकी है

अब लगता है भगवन के पास जाने का समय गया है
दुनिया को अलविदा कहना का समय गया है
खुदा से उसकी मुस्कान वापस मागने का समय गया है

चलता हूं

अलविदा

21 May 2016

Aww wali Girls

Aww is sweet expression.
Awww is sweeter expression.
Awwww is sweetest expression.
Awwwww (and more) is diabetic expression.


It's not like that every girl using word aww is aww wali girl. Aww wali girls are special type of girl. They just use it anywhere and everywhere.

Online chats
Meri lottery lagi hai
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : tujhe kuch lag gaya kya, jo aww kar rahi hai

Mera accident ho gaya
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : Kab, kyun, kaha bhi puch

Mera haath fracture ho gaya
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : ab bhi aww

I am recovering now
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : shayad keyboard hi kharab hoga

I am fine, how are you
Aww wali girls : Aww
My mind : achese padh toh leti

Apart from being like this online or apart from this using aww, they have many more right-eyebrow-raising-qualities.

Face-to-Face
*After a joke*
Aww wali girls : LOL
My mind : LOL ? Hass bhi sakti thi, robot hai kya ?

Mera accident ho gaya tha
Aww wali girls : O-M-G
My mind : muh se baat kar rahi hai pura toh bol hi sakti thi

There are many other ways to be cool rather than using OMG in face to face conversation. Anything in limit is good. A conversation full of aww is awful conversation.


PS : This post is not meant to offend anyone. Many of my friends and cousins use aww(but in limit), this one is not related to any of them. Just a post to make people smile. Also, If girls have aww-wali-girls, boys have bad-joke-wale-boys (includes me).

18 December 2014

The Careless He

(This time from Chitra’s Point of view)

October 3, 2014
He was reading a newspaper, where he came across one news : Deepika Padkone visited Mumbai mall for HNY promotions. 
He said “I wish I was there”
I replied “ok”
He said “Sirf ok ? It seems someone is jealous”
I said “Wish I could have met Amitabh Sir, when he was near our office zone for some inauguration. Then you would have been a real jealous”
As usual, he replied with a smile.


*****
October 4, 2014
Today, his parents went Jabalpur for attending a marriage. He is too lazy to cook or buy something healthy. He had maggi at lunch. I was angry but didn’t react.
*****
October 5, 2014
He opened his lunch box it was maggi again

Me(angrily) : Wow Maggi again, breakfast mein bhi yahi banaya hoga na?
He : Yes
Me: Are you serious ?
He was silent. His silence gave the answer
*****
October 6, 2014
Today, I was sure he must be bored of maggi. Today it must be sandwich in lunch. So I decided I will exchange my lunch with him. I asked him on sms : “whats in lunch today ?”. It was maggi again and I was very much disappointed. I decided I will not exchange lunch. 
*****
October 7, 2014
Today, I went to his desk. He was not there; he must be with boss for some meeting. Out of curiosity, I opened his bag and looked into his tiffin. I was relieved it was not maggi today. Just when I kept the tiffin back, I saw a new paper cutting. I checked it. It was an advertisement. “Meet the Big B” contest to meet Amitabh Bachchan on his birthday. The person who get lucky coupon in the maggi pack, will get chance to meet Big B.
 Oh he did all this just for me; so that I can meet Big B. I was shocked but happy.  Again, he made my day. 


*****
October 8, 2014
I received a call
Me : Hello
Girl on call : Good afternoon Ma’m, This is Taruna from Axis Bank, I would like to share information about our new zero-balance- account facility. Can I have your 2 mins ?
Me : Deepika Padukone is your brand ambassador, right ?
Girl on call : Yes
Me : Is there any scheme like offer to meet Deepika, if we open an account ?
She disconnected the phone

17 October 2014

An Interview with Self

Q: Why this post as an interview?
A: Just a way of presentation. I made this post to answer the questions most of the people ask me.

Q: Ok then, Your blog is Mr Weirdo, why such name?
A: People say I am different from many others in everything I do. Different is the word but it doesn’t appear to be appealing. So I named it Mr Weirdo.

Q: But there was another option : your Hpage blog name – Mohit’s Shorteries
A: Hpage is past. It was in 2009. It created some personal problem with my friend. So deleted the blog and don’t want to use anything connected to that. And that name can be used for short stories completed in one or two paragraphs. Also, now I write big stories. Infact, some of them are so big that I divide them into parts and post it. Like the story : The Chitra of My Life

Q: Oh yes Chitra, who is Chitra?
A: She is just an imagination

Q: But then why only Chitra, there are many names?
A: The name is quite rare. And it’s also name of childhood friend. She was my friend in nursery school days . I last met her when I was in my 2nd grade and haven’t meet or seen her ever after that but my uncle still teases me on that name. Don’t know why. So I felt using it.

Q: You write most your stories in busy days like during audit days or exam days, why?
A: I don’t write stories in these busy days. I just post them in these busy days. It’s kind of a break for me

Q: You call yourself an innovative, why ?
A: First time I got this tag was in some competition. Then my maths teachers gave me this tag. Infact, one of them, Prof Oza, Somaiya college said there are 3 method to solve every mathematical problem: 1) the book method 2) the teachers’ method 3) your method, you are truely innovative, Mohit. Also in one of the training sessions, I received this tag of “Innovative”

Q: Coming to maths, your blog Mathemagician, why you stopped it ?
A: My idea for the blog was to make everything available from tricks to formulas at one place. I shared this idea with someone and he created the same blog with same title in a week’s time. I was disappointed and stopped blogging there.

Q: But now that page is already deleted. Will you continue your page again?
A: Haven’t made a thought



(I will keep updating this post)

Love Story of a Ghost

Arvind(Age 22) just received a call that his brother has met with an accident. He took the car keys and left from home. He was driving car at a high speed. He, then, saw a small kid crossing the road. He was about to hit the kid but a lady jumped and saved him. This made Arvind go completely blank and he, too, met with an accident and died on the spot. Soon, he reached the heaven’s gate.

“Hello Arvind” said an old man with a white beard and white clothes
Arvind : Hello Sir
Old man : I am your guide for next few days till you get rebirth. With me, you will learn the lessons for your upcoming life. And you will also learn the results of mistake you made in your past life. Let me check in which form you will get your rebirth as.
He checked his white color book
Old man : Aah ! the human life again. You are the second person in my career who is getting rebirth as human again. First was Mitesh, seven years ago. He was also in his twenties, when he came here.
Arvind: Thank you God, I am human again. But sir, is it because we lived a smaller life, we are getting rebirth as human ?
Old man : No. Age is not a criteria. Its about how good you have been in your past life.
Arvind : Can you tell me something about Mitesh, if its allowed to share
Old man : sure, I can tell you about him
******
Mitesh was very innocent and filled with love. He was deeply in love with Vilsha. But after the breakup, he stopped living his life, the way he used to live. May be that was the reason God called him up. During his learning days, here in heaven, he use to visit earth as ghost. He visited different places but his two most comman were his home and Vilsha’s home. A day before rebirth, everyone is given 18 hrs to meet their loved ones in their dreams. Mitesh also got this opportunity. When Mitesh reached earth, it was 3 pm. His parents were at office, which means he cant meet them as they are awake. He was searching for others who might be sleeping. He found that Vilsha is taking her afternoon nap. He reached her dream. In that dream, Vilsha was sitting in the garden alone.

Mitesh(from behind) : its said that even a fake relationship for 8 months create true love between the two. Was our relation worse than the fake.
Vilsha(turned back) : Oh Mitesh, I am sorry but I did what I felt right. At that time, I found him better than you.
Mitesh : Vilsha, we were together for 3 yrs and your friendship with him was not even 3 months old. My poems for you, my prayers for you and everything wasn’t worth.
Vilsha: I know but I was confused.
Mitesh : You call it a confusion. It turned my life completely upside down.
Vilsha started crying. Mitesh left from there, without say a word.
Later in night, he went to dreams of his parents, relatives and friends. He still had time. At some moment, he decided to meet Vilsha again but I stopped and came back.
Before getting rebirth, he was asked to make wishes – one good and one bad. These wishes are allowed so that no one takes unfulfilled love or hate memories of past life in their next life.
As a good wish, he asked for happiness of his parents and loved ones.
When it came to bad wish, everyone in heaven thought he will ask for some big punishment for Vilsha. Infact many thought he will ask for death of Vilsha.
But he. He didn’t asked for anything. And he was sent back to earth as human
*****
Arvind : Wasn’t he given any other option, as he didn’t ask for anyone’s bad.
Old man : no
Arvind : Man ! He almost saved Vilsha’s life and he didn’t got anything.
Old man smiled.
Arvind : What ? did I said anything wrong ?
Old man : The kid who was saved from getting hit by your car, was seven year old Mitesh. The lady who saved the kid was Vilsha.
Arvind was almost shocked.
Old man: I will start guiding you for your new life in sometime, till time you can take some rest.
*****


28 September 2014

His Mistakes Her Corrections

First crush of my life when I was 11 yr old was a girl with a name starting with ‘N’. Some misunderstanding and we stopped talking to each other and also it landed me in a trouble. Since then every year, there is one girl with name N….. , I enter in some trouble with her without any fault from my side. Now I have adapted the ‘technique’ called “Prevention is better than cure”. Its not that I don’t talk to N named girls. Infact, I have few good female friends with N. But-kintu-parantu I stay cautioned till I entered in a problem with one, after that I feel free to talk to other N named girls with little less cautious.
Namrita. One of the past close friends of Chitra. I always tried to be safe with her. Every sms, whats app message, song or video was considered 7-8 times before sending it to her. Deep inside I always feel that she doesn’t like me. Even she asked Chitra that to reconsider her love for me. Thank God, Chitra is always always always positive about me.

Recently Namrita underwent a breakup. And in next few days it was her birthday. Chitra knew birthday is the best time to save her from all those breakup-bad-mood. She suggested everyone to keep Namrita's pic in their dp and Happy Birthday in their status on WhatsApp.
Chitra : Hey even you are supposed follow the rule
Me : Arey I have Deepika Padukone’s Pic in my Dp and Status ‘I Love You’ and I wont change until and unless Deepu read it.
Chitra : Trying to get me jealous. I wont. I know that status for me. Otherwise you had wrote “I Love You, Deepika”
I just smiled, as always.

Day before the birthday
It was 11 30 pm and I realised that my internet pack will expire in 1 hr and I have forgot to recharge it. Now the plan was to change Dp and status at 11 58 pm. At 11 58 pm, I changed the Dp of Whats app with her pic. And due to slow internet it took me 2 mins to update the Dp and my net pack expired. I was ok. I was happy that atleast I updated the Dp, I will update the status in morning. I switched off the cell and slept.
While I was sleeping happily, Evils and Whats app were repeating a problem for me. Last time unchanged status got me into problem with Chitra. This time it was Namrita. Upon that Namrita unfortunately starts with N. Upon that this year, I was yet to have problem with N named girl.
So now, my dp has a pic of Namrita and Status is “I love you” which was meant to be for Deepika Padukone(Actually Chitra). Unfortunately those days, What App never displayed the time of status update.
Her Birthday (my death day??)
Its was breakfast birthday party at 10 am. I reached near the Dosa center. I thought of calling Chitra and it was then I realised that I haven’t yet switched on my cell. I switched on my cell. Message popped up – 18 missed calls from Chitra. I called Chitra.
Chitra: Hello
Me : Hi good morning
Chitra: haan bada good morning. Kyun khud ko problem mein fasate ho
Me: Kiya kya maine
Chitra : Kya Kiya ? pehle cake leke aao. Aur apna whats app status and dp check karo. Come directly to Dosa center. I will meet you there.
Call disconnected.
I quickly checked my phone. Realised the messed. I reached the cake shop. I selected the cake. All this while, I was tensed. They will kill me. And suddenly shopkeeper asked
Shopkeeper : Kaunse colour ka knife du
Me(in my mind) : Knife ? To kill myself ?
Me : Kum daar wala
Shopkeeper : Kya ?
Me: Koi bhi do yaar
He gave red color knife. Yet another signal that I am in deep trouble.

I reached Dosa Center. Chitra wasn’t there yet. I got confused.
Me: Where is Chitra ?
Namrita: (with a smile) I am also waiting for her. We both will beat her together.
Me: Why ?
Namrita: She herself confessed on FB, what she did with your whats app.
I checked FB. Chitra had her FB status
“Hey Guys, Check Mohit’s whats app Dp and Status; Sorry Namu but I did this Prank :P”
Chitra arrived. Namrita and Chitra hugged each other. We all had fun.

After the party, me and Chitra had a short conversation
Me:Thanks

Chitra. Thanks. Thanks returned. Even I am there for you

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